Oops, Bitch you Fat Bastard, big ass Gnarly Head go drink some Cat’s Pee and run around Naked On Roller Skates. No, the Entaste blog has not been diagnosed with a mad case of Tourettes, we are just really into funny-ass, wacky and weird, creative names for wines. We have scoured the globe, far and wide, (and by globe, we mean internet), to bring you our top picks for the best wine names. Since there are so many bizarre wine names to choose from, we have brought you our first, of many, segments on the best wine brand names.
Despite Mike Myers’ Fat Bastard character in Austin Powers and his affinity for fine wine, the namesake for this wine brand has a different story. Started by the wine winning duo Guy and Thierry, these two guys are all about the sweet nectar in all its fat bastardness glory.
Guzzle down a Voluptuous Beauty, open up your throat for a Cheeky Little White or Red, get hot and steamy with a Bodacious Blonde or spice up your life with some Spicy Splendor. The name, (Oops), is based on a true story of the history of the Carmenere grape, dating back centuries, as it was thought to be extinct until it was discovered to be masquerading as a Chilean Merlot.
Finally, time to drink wine and bitch your heart out without having any of your friends calling you a miserable negative Nancy! Targeted to a female wine drinker (and self-proclaimed male queens), it’s perfectly acceptable to be a massive biyatch face while drinking this wine. If enjoying a regular Bitch sounds too tame, try other wine brands that have hopped on the Bitch bandwagon: Sweet Bitch, Sassy Bitch and Happy Bitch are all trying to compete for the ultimate bitch spot.
According to the makers of Gnarly Head, it’s all about the old gnarled and twisted vines that have been around for a while. Just because the vines are gnarly, doesn’t make this wine out of date. The vines that produce small grape clusters may be tiny, but produce an intense, bold, deep flavor, since “old vines make bold vines.”
It was so hard to decide which wine name we liked best, we had to post the whole collection. Just take a look for yourself and tell us that these aren’t the most original, low brow, Pulp Fiction inspired bottles you’ve ever seen. Take your pick if you’re in the mood for Monsters, Monsters Attack!, Passion Has Red Lips, The Squid’s Fish, Quickie or our personal favorite, Naked On Roller Skates.
Cat’s Pee On A Gooseberry Bush
Fun wine fact that the Entaste drink team learned in our weekly office wine tastings: not all sommeliers are stuck up when it comes to describing wines. Honesty is the best policy, especially when it comes to Sauvignon Blanc, which is classically described as smelling like cat’s piss. This New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc has moved on up from bottling the nectar of a bunch of pissing kitties, to becoming one of the most popular white wines in the UK.